Strikes and Gutters

It's amazing how 24 hours can give you something to write about. I realize I don't write posts anymore unless something happens. So the last day has provided you with the following post:

Last night was our last hockey game of the "season." As I mentioned last week, it was the last place game. The game was going well. I had a couple goals in the first half and we took that lead into the third quarter when the unexpected happened.

I was trying to prevent their best player from taking a shot, so I lunged from behind him and tried to hook him down. As I did that, I fell to the ground and after that it is hard to tell exactly what happened. I think one of my teammates was right on my tail, and tied the guy up. But for that one second I was on the ground, my face was run over. It felt like a skate, but I'm pretty positive it was a stick. It felt like I was hit twice actually. The feeling was instant numbness. It wasn't quite pain because of the adrenaline flowing, but it was unfamiliar, and I was pretty positive I was cut. I saw blood start dripping on the playing surface and knew my night was probably done.

You could say I was lucky. One clean cut above my eye, a bit of a shiner on the other side of my face and a little cut to the bridge of my nose. I of course wanted to go back out there, but knew I should look after my face. My friend Eoin was there and he helped me treat it. It is a bummer I didn't get back out to play as we lost the game 13-8.

After the game, Mike York, Eoin and another friend, Bryce, went over to Eoin's parents house. Eoin's mother used to be in charge of an entire hospital and is a former nurse. So she attached some butterfly bandages to my face and I was all set to go.

You may ask why I don't wear a face mask. It is a preference really. I have played every week for three months and this is the first time I was hit in the face. It was a fluke. I probably won't wear a mask when the next competition starts - next week! That's right. We're keeping the same teams and just starting over again. Three or four of the best players are leaving for Europe next week for a world wide tournament, so the teams should still be fairly even.

What great timing with the cut eye and shiner to have a job interview the next day! That's right. 9am this morning, I showed up to Zest Marketing with some fresh looking bruises. I had found this company's ad online and wrote them over the weekend. They called Monday and we set up an interview. I wasn't positive what they did, except that it had something to do with marketing.

It was a bit disappointing when I found out what it was exactly. You know those people in the cities who stand in parks or busy areas with t-shirts for The Red Cross or a Cancer Society? Well that's what this was. It was in your face marketing. I knew as soon as I saw what it was that I wasn't going to do it, no matter what. They let me watch for an hour or so and had me fill out some questions about marketing. I know I could have acted my way into that job. No problem at all. But in your face selling might be one of the most miserable things I can imagine doing.

I marketed Up with People for a year. In that time, I learned many strategies on what makes a fun marketing campaign. We had booths and put on fun games and made the consumer comfortable for the most part with what we were trying to sell them. It was fun for us as the seller also!

As someone who hates...loathes...being approached for a donation, I could never do this type of selling. I have walked many many steps in my day, out of my way, to avoid people I can see coming towards me trying to sell me something. It offends me, I get uncomfortable and I usually have no desire to donate, not because I don't like the cause, but because of the way they are approaching me. Yeah so you could say the job I was going for today was my worst nightmare. It was telemarketing, door to door selling and any other type of selling that makes you angry.

I'm happy I got out of the house and tried something new, but am a bit disappointed. I should have realized what they were. The people were very nice. They were enthusiastic. What a harsh job though. On one of the forms it talked about the ability to accept hearing "no" a lot. I asked the team leader how many donations they expected to get today. In 6 or 7 hours, the four of them are expected to get THREE donations each, sometimes four. That means three times people say yes, and most likely 100 times they say no or just walk right by. I couldn't do it. Nope, never.

Oh and while I was observing these sales persons, I was texting a guy who lives in Sydney who is also currently looking for work. He writes the Stuck at Seven blog. He was telling me to RUN! Just run away, because that's what he did. He was somewhat duped into interviewing similar gig that I interviewd for and literally ran away from the interviewee. Pretty hilarious picture. Edmund explains it below. He tells a good story.



So that's my story. Hopefully I will have more interviews to tell you about soon. In the meantime, enjoy these photos from hockey last night. Hopefully you won't be seeing anymore like them! That's Mike York with me in both photos.

That's the other York brother above, Curt. I went to his soccer match on Sunday. Will tell you all about his party he is throwing this weekend next time. See ya!

Rough day for New England

Celtics...lose in game 6, Red Sox...lose in 12 innings, Bruins...lose in overtime of game 7. Not exactly the Hat Trick the city of Boston was looking for.

About a minute ago, I just watched the Hurricanes beat the Bruins in the NHL Playoffs. It was in overtime of game 7. The Canes are now headed to the Conference finals to take on the Penguins. But what a heartbreaking loss for the B's. I should be estatic, but I'm feeling a bit sad for the city of Boston and the Bruins right now. As someone who has been on the losing end of an overtime game, I just gotta say OUCH.

Kevin Smith, the Hollywood director, recently wrote a blog about his New Jersey Devils when they were matched up against the Hurricanes during the opening round of this year's playoffs...I edited the swears out for you...

"I can’t root against the Hurricanes because they’re the Hartford Whalers. What kind of black-hearted, hateful person could ever cheerfully root against the Whale? We’re talking about the (first) team that brought Gordie Howe out of retirement! This is a team of legends, with an old-time-hockey legacy. Paul Coffey, Dave Keon, Bobby Hull… even our own Shanny: all legends who swam with the Whale. I can’t bash on the Green and the Blue; they’re the Connecticut Yankees in King Stanley’s Court who inspired the immortal cinematic bon mot “Breakfasts come and go, Rene; but Hartford… the Whale? Hey, they only beat Vancouver once, maybe twice in a lifetime.”

For the complete blog....http://thenhlarena.com/index.php?showtopic=77374 (He actually edited out the swears too in a fun kind of way.)

So I guess if I were to write my paragraph similar to that, I would say that it's hard to root against the Boston Bruins. I grew up with Cam Neely, Ray Bourque, Andy Moog and countless others. Even with my loyalty to the Whale, I can't hate the Black and Yellow. Despite all the losing in the last 20 years, I've always hoped they make a Cup run. I just don't want to see them beat the Whalers, er Canes.

Also, something isn't quite right with me rooting for a non-Boston team. I love the Patriots, Celtics, and Red Sox. The stars should all line up, and I should root for the B's. But I don't. And that still feels strange to me. In the world of pro sports, I feel you're really only allowed to have one favorite. And as you know, I decided a long time ago who my favorite would be, whether they come from Hartford or Carolina. They say "you can't have your cake and eat it too," so I guess I'm sticking with the Canes.

Good luck Carolina in the Eastern Conference Semis. It is going to be a battle to beat Pittsburgh but you can do it. And for the Boston fans out there, try not to think about it too much. The Celtics still have game 7 to play, and the Red Sox have a long road ahead of them.

On to the next round. Don't you dare shave those playoff beards.

Some NHL, Aussie TV and a Giraffe

Another weekly update...although I have posted the previous two days. So I guess this is a daily update or rather something to keep my mind busy.

It has been a mostly stress free 48 hours since losing my job. I would consider that a good sign. I worked out yesterday, walked/jogged/ran around 5 miles today. I feel great. All the pants I bought when I left for Australia definitely are too big now. I need to find a short, stalky guy to sell them to.

Surfing the net today, I stumbled upon a blog that was created in 2006. It was written by a Canadian student who spent a year in Australia. The title of his blog? Ryan Down Under. See, I had a feeling that Ryan Down Under wasn't an original title.

Did you know that KMart is a huge store here? I saw a TV commercial about 20 minutes ago for it. Wasn't it going out of business in the USA? I know it left Keene a long time ago. What did Rain Man say about K-Mart....K-Mart Sucks.

I am missing being in New England right now. Two of the past three days, the Red Sox, Celtics and Bruins have won games on the same day. What a week for you! (Most of you) I was able to watch game 5 of the Celtics/Magic series, but today they played the Minnesota Twins vs Detroit Tigers live from the Metrodome. Truly one of pro sports' most boring matchups ever.

The NHL playoffs have been pretty amazing so far this year. There are three game 7's in the next couple of days including The Bruins/Hurricanes that I am most interested in. I called it that this thing would go seven. All the games so far except one have been very one sided and Boston has the big advantage of being at home for game seven. Also the Chicago Blackhawks are going to the Conference Finals. Amazing.

Mothers Day as I mentioned before was pretty uneventful. I did finally get to talk to Mom (or mum as they call it here) on Tuesday. Great to talk to you!

Wednesdays are a great TV night here for me. Wednesdays feature LOST, House, Family Guy, My name is Earl and a new Australian show I enjoyed tonight called Thank God You're Here. It is an improv show featuring famous Australian comedians. I don't watch all of the shows I mentioned above, but definitely LOST and Family Guy and sometimes House. Tonight is the 3rd to last episode of LOST for us in Australia. Those of you in the USA are two weeks ahead of me. No spoilers please. Also they play about every cop drama you can name. NCIS, CSI, The Mentalist...the list goes on and on. I could never stick with those shows.

Most of your standard reality TV shows, they have here as well. Master Chef, The Biggest Loser, So you think you can Dance, Australias's Got Talent. They are basically the same. Australia only has 20-22 million people. The participants really become celebrities here overnight.

Speaking of celebrities or personalities in the spotlight. A famous National Rugby Player is involved this week in a sex scandal dating back to 2002 with a then 19 year old woman. In fact, the NRL is starting to get a reputation for bad behavior including assaults and public drunkenness. It gets so much attention here. As an American, I guess I am used to my sports scandals by now. With the legal problems over the past 10 years in the NBA, NFL and the drug scandals of MLB, nothing really surprises me anymore. I think that Australia is becoming politically correct finally and that still shocks a lot of people here.

I've mentioned this before, but I'll say it again...It is illegal to talk on your cell phone while driving in Australia, but your passenger can drink an entire six pack of beer and there is no crime being committed. Is that strange to you?

I found a great website that can distort photos of you for free. Check it out sometime. http://www.befunky.com/ Here's what I did with one of mine...


I leave you with something to make you laugh. Watch it five times. It gets funnier.

Hockey Mondays (Playoffs)

Tonight's semi final matchup was a great one. Unfortunately we lost 16-13. I don't think it was our team's best effort of the season, but on a personal level, I felt good. I had a hat trick, including an Alexander Ovechkin-esque goal. It was a forehand shot from on my knees, from about 15 feet in front of the goal with a defender all over me. Looked something like this...except mine was a forehand...and I was in a men's league inline game.

We actually had a decent crowd for us. Probably 20 people including Eoin and another buddy, Bryce. So there were actually cheers when I scored it. One player says I'm king of the garbage goal. I disagree. I think I'm king of making goals look GOOD! I told Mike it is redemption for all those years I spent on defense.

Our problem seemed to be taking care of the little pests on their team. Whenever we scored one, they came back with one. At half, we were down 8-3. After three quarters we were down 14-8! The final quarter was pretty excitng as we narrowed the lead to 15-13. I missed the 16th goal, but Mikey York put it in our own goal. It happens.

Mike had a great hit on one of those little pests early on. The kid had already had a penalty for hacking me and was really giving it to Yorky. Nobody was noticing, but finally Mike shoved him down while everyone was watching...I think he muttered something like "Hit me again, I'll kill ya..." and we didn't really hear from #55 again.

I told Mike he almost was in a DonnyBrook...and he had never heard of this old fashioned hockey phrase. For those of you who don't know, the definition of a donnybrook is: an inordinately wild fight or contentious dispute; brawl; free-for-all. Take that with you.

I thought we were going to make the incredible comeback. It reminded me for a bit of a hockey game I played versus Berlin as a youth. We were up by three goals at home against them pretty much due to them not having their best player Chad Lauze. He was running late. He showed up for the third period, hat a hat trick and we lost. We were down six going into that final period and nearly pulled it off.

So we'll be playing in the toilet bowl game next week. No hard feelings. It was another great workout. I think we only take a couple weeks off before the next series starts and I believe we will be keeping the same teams, instead of shuffling them up.

Even the Chiefs couldn't win them all....goodnight.

And here we go again!

Harry: So you got fired again, eh?

Lloyd: Oh yeah. They always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident, you know?

Harry: Yeah, well, I lost my job too.

Lloyd: Man, you are one pathetic loser. No offense.

- Dialogue from the movie Dumb and Dumber

Hello there. I was going to write a Mother's Day post, but then had to work a double shift on Saturday and Sunday. So I did not get to it. Actually the above quote is appropriate because work asked me not to return last night after I clocked off. So....for the second time in a few months, I am now out of work.

They said it was due to my performance and falling behind a bit when it came to making coffees. In my defense, I know I worked my butt off. In my heart, I worked as hard as I ever have. I probably should have mastered the coffee machine sooner, but I walk away with a new set of skills, and also the pride in knowing that I did the best I could. Maybe I'm not cut out for the restaurant business. Either way, I refuse to dwell on this. It is the restaurant's loss that I will no longer be working there.

And so the hunt begins, again...

Tonight is our first playoff hockey game. As I mentioned in last week's post, we should win. Although we do have one problem. Goalies. Throughout the season, we've had three goalies who rotate playing the two games each week. Now only one goalie is available for the remainder of the season. Last week I heard we were desperate to find another goalie. So this whole season might just end in a rather boring fashion if they haven't found anyone to mind the nets.

It reminds me of the scene from the movie Clerks where the convenience and video store clerks (Dante and Randal) close the store and have a hockey game on the roof of the Quik Stop. But they lose the ball in gutter on the first play of the game and nobody brought another ball, so the game was over. That could be tonight for me.

I'm currently watching the Celtics vs. Magic on TV Live. This has been one of the best surprises of the past month, having live NBA games on my TV in Australia. Also I am able to listen to Boston Red Sox games online now as well as NHL playoff games. Have you ever tried listening to hockey on the radio? It is nearly impossible. It is basically just a guy constantly naming off who has the puck. Crazy Russian and eastern European names too. I just like to hear the part where the announcer says "HE SCORES!"

This is about 20 minutes later than the last paragraph. Just watched the Celtics win at the buzzer! That was amazing to watch. Also I was on a video conference call with my buddy Matt Zidron from Chicago at the time. So we watched it together. The broadcast in the US was about 15 seconds faster than the one in Australia. Matt was also watching the Red Sox/Rays game on TV and showed me his tv screen. It is just remarkable how I can see people on the other side of the world through my computer screen.

If any of you ever want to do the conference call with me, my Skype name is rywatts9. Don't know what skype is? It is a great way to communicate with friends and family in other countries. Email me and I'll tell you about it.

No worries, mate. Talk soon - Ry

Curing some boredom for me and you

No specific topic tonight. Just your standard weekly update randomness...

I worked tonight for the first time since Sunday! I was pretty pumped to run around waiting tables. It turned out to be a bit of a stressful night as there were only four of us working. That includes two new people, myself and my boss. Things got a little busy and I had to pick up the slack, and I was the "veteran" server out there after only 30 days or so on the job. My boss did tell me at one point that I need to be mindful of something. That's the worst feeling. That feeling when you think you are busting your butt and the man points out what you're doing wrong.

It reminded me of this varsity hockey game I was in when I was a junior in high school. My coach was yelling at me for this or that and I looked him in the eye and said, "But coach, I'm doing great things out there." He benched me for the final period and a half....and overtime in which we lost.

So instead of telling the boss how good I was doing, I just nodded my head. We had a really good chat at the end of the night about how things went. I thanked him for his support, then went home.

Waiting has its ups and downs

I've mentioned in previous blogs that my new focus is getting healthy. So this week I've worked out everyday (except Tuesday, my day off). My workout consists of a 2.5 mile (4k) run, some push ups and sit ups and this little muscle building exercise called Plank. It is like a push up, except you just try to hold your body up off the ground for as long as possible. It is supposed to build all sorts of muscle. I was pretty bored on Wednesday, so I did this workout twice. I was wearing 36 waist pants when I left the USA, now I am using the smallest notch on my belt just to keep my pants up. I was a fatty. I'm taking this so seriously now that I am reading labels at the grocery store and I even went to the movies the other night and did not get movie popcorn. I found some jaw dropping stats on the amount of junk they put in that stuff. Also I've cut back on alcohol, only having one or two drinks a week. I think I just need to remember to have some fun once in awhile with the food. Ironic, isn't it that I went to a country famous for its binge drinking to STOP drinking. Feels great though.

Dec 31, 2008...pushing the scale at...I don't know...but it was a lot.

10 minutes before publishing this blog. I have a neck again.

Having days off has been great for listening to radio broadcasts of Major League Baseball, the NBA and NHL. This week I've been listening to the Carolina Hurricanes radio broadcst for the Bruins/Hurricanes series. During intermission today, a caller asked "Who was on the roster when the Hurricanes first started in 1998?" And the announcer listed off the whole roster. It was a great trip down memory lane. And the Hurricanes won today to take 2-1 series lead. Also I listened to my first MLB game on the internet the other day. How much a part of New England culture is the voice of Joe Castiglione, radio voice of the Red Sox? That's as American as Dunkin' Donuts.

I watched the Dodgers play the Nationals on TV today. During the seventh inning stretch, I stood in my livingroom and belted out God Bless America with the rest of LA. The woman really blew the ending, but I had my hand on my heart and sang it like I was there regardless of how she sounded.

I like that I get to watch former Swamp Bat Andre Ethier on my TV in Australia. I was lucky to have the opportunity to pick him up at the airport the day he arrived in Keene back in 03. I bet he doesn't remember, but I do tell people I drove the guy around. Same goes for Jeff Keppinger and Amazega.

Hockey Monday night was another good one. We won 10-6. I had a couple in the win. Next Monday is our playoffs. We are the #3 seed playing the #2 seed. 1 is playing 4 also. We really should win and then all we have to do is beat the bad guys and we're "champions" of a league of four. Yep, doesn't get any better than that.

My friend Eoin responded to my previous post regarding Australian vehicles and yards.

"Read the blog, too short but funny. True our cars are small and those little fences, well we don't own the land past them. The council does. You should do a piece on Australian local councils.... Like how its illegal to cut a tree down on your own property. Yes you can get really big fines if you do it, like $30,000. Oh and don't even think about building a garage without permission."

So I didn't realize the council or basically the city as we'd say in the US had so much pull.

Mike York had a different defense when he heard I was bashing his country's vehicles.

"Our roads aren't as big, so our cars can't be as big."

Well who's fault is that Mikey? Actually Mike drives a good sized truck for Australian standards. He passes.

I graduated from College five years ago this month. Carroll College or Carroll University as it is called now was my home for three years from August 2001-August-2004. One of these days there will be a post titled "The College Years." It will be edited for all ages to read.

What else is going on? I've been talking with Andy Neumeister recently on facebook. Andy and I both used to work for Clarke Distributors in Keene, NH. One summer in 2001, we were weekend merchandisers together in Rindge and Keene. We worked in major grocery stores like Shaw's and Hannaford Brothers and it was our responsibility to make sure there was plenty of Budweiser on the shelf each weekend. We've kept in touch since that time and I was in his wedding a few years back. Anyway, we invented a fictious competition called the "Merch Off." and we would always talk about the events. You'd have the Merch off decathalon:

Tools of the trade for "Merch-Off 2009"

Events include:

30 pack toss, catch, and building of display
40 yard pallet pull, avoiding obstacles (shoppers) along the way
Wheeling of kegs off the back of a truck
Merch off terminology ("Did you check that cooler?" a.k.a. "Check that attractive women down the aisle")
Speed rotation of the "Born on Dates"

Precision label fronting

Syncronized Pallet-jacks

And of course our guest referee would be Dizzy. He's the living legend merchandiser.

I think we should write a screen play about the merch off. It would be a Vince Vaughn film I imagine. In the movie Black Sheep, Chris Farley talked about a "bounce off" regarding some security guard competition. I believe that's where the concept started.

Time for bed. Goodnight.

Australian back yards, Utes and Uluru

It is time for another revue on Australian culture and things I find odd about this big island I call home...

First up, back yards. Nobody has a back yard. Or a front yard. Well that's not entirely true. Everybody has a patch of grass that takes 5 minutes to mow. You could mow the yards here with a weed wacker and not really get too tired from doing it. I feel bad for the kids. I actually saw two kids kicking a rugby ball back and forth to each other recently. One child was on his family's patch of grass. The other was in his own yard. They were kicking it over some two foot hedges. Sad. That leads me to fences. As I've been running recently through many neighborhoods, I notice many people put up fences on their property. That makes sense. Security. I get that. But these fences are pointless! They're not on the edge of the property. They are right in the middle of the property. So this means that the small yard I mentioned above is cut in half. AND many of the fences look like this:

Would love to own a lawn mowing business in this neighborhood.

So really, if I'm a burglar, or even the mailman and I'm trying to get by that, I think I will succeed. My point is: Australians, you are all packed on the coast. Take advantage of whatever grass you have and tear down those silly fences.

Utes. I think I've mentioned these before. A ute or utility vehicle is driven by many different tradesman. I've seen painters, plumbers, landscapers, etc. drive them. In fact, a ute is a very stylish popular vehicle here that is "pimped" out with spoilers and rims and fancy colors. My problem with the ute is that they all look the same! The companies Ford and Holden make a ute that looks very similiar, and it seems that nine out of ten of the utes I see are from those two manufacturers. I guess I am just tired of the ute and wonder how something can be such a fad when everyone has one.

This is a pretty stylish ute made by Holden

The pic above is a workman's ute. It looks like the pimped out ute except it has a flatbed. Do you know what they call a ute in the USA? An El Camino! Or as a friend once told me, a Tennessee Cadillac (I think that's a redneck joke.) Remember the El Camino? Its the car that's a truck! What is funny to me is that the El Camino is made fun of in the USA, but in Australia, if you have a "car that's a truck" you may be the coolest guy on your street. Also in the USA, you have the Subaru Brat, which is even more made fun of than the El Camino I believe.

The Tennessee Cadillac. Not a head turner where I'm from

I think because I come from the USA, I am used to a man being proud of the size of his truck. I come from the land of the Ford F-350, the Dodge Ram, the Chevy Silverado. Proud trucks. So the fact that these teeny vehicles are what the tough guys drive, I chuckle a bit. On a side note, they played some monster truck videos at work the other day and I had to do a bit of defending of my fellow Americans from the south. And yah I used to drive a Chevy S-10. Not exactly ruling the road, but it's a reliable "truck."

It's the size of your truck that matters where I come from

Moving on. A gentleman came up to me at work the other day and told me if I ever visit Uluru, which is a large rock in the middle of Australia, belonging to the Aboriginals, to "Walk all over that thing. That rock's been there a million years and will be around a million more. Don't worry about the signs telling you not to go on it." I talked to another Australian afterwards and they said that walking on the Uluru rock would be like walking all over a sacred temple. I think the man I talked to might have some cultural insensitivity issues. But I do find that some Australians don't have a very positive outlook on the Aboriginals.

Heck I don't even know if I will make it to Uluru. It is in the middle of nowhere.

Uluru, I do not plan on walking on it.

Alright, that's it for now. No real conclusion to this piece. So have a great Monday and I'll return again soon. - Ry